The Past Catches Up to us All
by LanMandragoran
Summary: Originally posted under my old account carsonsheir. It has been 20 years since the final battle, and the years have not been kind to Harry Potter. He has left behind the past that haunts him, or at least tried to. In this story you will find out that you can hide from your demons but never really escape


Title: The past catches up with us all.

Main Character: Harry Potter

Summary: It has been 20 years since the final battle, and the years have not been kind to Harry Potter. He has left behind the past that haunts him, or at least tried to. In this story you will find out that you can hide from your demons but never really escape them.

Disclaimer: Everything is owned by the great JKR I am just playing in her sandbox.

An: So a long time ago I started this story posted it then mangled the hell out of it by trying to redo it without taking it down. I then lost the account under which I had originally posted it carsonsheir. I am going to try and bring it back to life. I am in desperate need of a GOOD beta writer who can be almost a co-author. Feel free to email me email is in the profile.

Chapter One: Confusion and an unexpected visitor

Voldemort was laughing a high-pitched insane laugh as he gazed at the supposed "boy who lived." He sneered with disdain as he noticed Potter's robes, covered with the blood of his Death Eaters. He glanced to his left to Lucius Malfoy, wand pointed at the heart of Hermione Granger, and then to the right where Bellatrix Lestrange similarly had her wand trained on Ron Weasley. Making sure those two were secured, he looked back to Potter and hissed in a hateful voice.

"Your choice, Potter. Which one dies first, the mud blood Granger or the muggle-loving wizard traitor, Weasley?"

Up till this point, Harry had been very calm and collected. His attention had been focused on the battle going on. The grounds of Hogwarts were dotted with the corpses of brave soldiers of the light and evil scum alike. Members of The Order Of the Phoenix were battling side by side with the D.A, the staff of Hogwarts, students 4th year and up and ministry aurors.

The Death Eaters that Voldemort had brought with him on his surprise attack were slowly being defeated. Harry watched Severus Snape kill a Death Eater with a well-placed AVADA KEDAVRA. His attention was slowly drawn back to Voldemort when he spoke.

Registering the words that Voldemort spoke, Harry first turned to his best friend, Ron. His green eyes filled with so many emotions that it would be impossible to sort them all out.

He quietly said all that he wanted to say in that one last look, and Ron reciprocated in the exact same way. Then he turned and looked at Hermione Granger, the person that Ron loved more than Harry in the entire world and said his goodbyes as well. Then he turned to Voldemort and said,

"No, Tom, I don't think they will be the one to die. Tonight is your time to die."

Both Lestrange and Malfoy snapped hurried glances toward their leader, and at his nod they simultaneously cast AVADA KEDAVRA at their hostages. Twin flashes of green light leapt from their wands.

Harry Potter's eyes sprang open. For a moment he could not figure out for the life of him where he was. He expected to see the killing curse headed towards his two best friends, but instead he was in a dark room. It hit him that it was all a dream, the same dream he had been dreaming for damn near twenty years now.

With a groan, he tried to sit up and instantly regretted the action. His head felt like he had a herd of Hippogriffs thundering through it. He wondered just how much he had to drink last night.

Harry reached over to the side table, found his glasses and slipped them onto his face. Even that little action hurt more then he would have believed it could. He shouldn't be surprised by the hangover, considering it was a more than a once a week event but this one seemed especially wicked.

Harry reached down to grab one of the sobrieties potions that he had prepared. His hand brushed 4 or five empty alcohol bottles and something sharp before he felt the distinctive shape of the potion's bottle. He grabbed it and quickly unscrewed the top before pouring the whole thing in his mouth. Within seconds he felt the headache diminish and he could sit up.

Once he sat up he discovered a new problem: there was someone else in his bed lying next to him. A pretty good looking woman, judging from the hair and shape she had underneath the thin sheet. Harry vainly tried to remember what her name was and why she was in his bed.

He suddenly pictured the inside of a bar, Amanda's Saloon, and he remembered going in there last night and getting his usual drink. Then he remembered going out on the dance floor and dancing. It was always like that at first his nights coming back in bits and pieces sometimes they didn't come back at all. Those were the times he was really afraid of.

Harry leaned back, thoughtfully staring at the pretty face beside him. He gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and tried to remember the ladies name. It would be very embarrassing if he couldn't remember her name.

Despite the fact that he felt no affection for her and even felt a slight sense of loathing he didn't want to be rude. All of his movements had woke her up and she turned to him muttering a sleepy hello. He said hello back and tried to figure out the easiest way to get her out of his apartment. He was spared thinking of a lame excuse when his cell phone suddenly rang.

Harry was trying to think who would be calling him this early and he prayed it wasn't a case then he remembered that he was MIA from work and he realized that a case would be the least of his concerns if this call was work related.

"Hello?"

Harry said. The voice on the other end was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it; a woman told him that they would be at his apartment in less than 20 minutes and asked him if he was up to receiving company. Seeing the perfect way to get rid of his unwanted bedmate he said in a loud voice, "Yes that is fine. I will see you in about twenty minutes. Thanks for calling first."

With that he turned to the girl and offered an apology, explaining that an old friend was coming over and she was only in town for a little while. The girl seemed to understand. She said that she had a very nice time and looked forward to seeing him again.

As she got dressed, Harry went to the bathroom and quickly handled his morning business. He decided to forgo the shave as he sort of liked the stubble. Plus his hands were still a little unsteady and he really didn't want to cut himself shaving. Then the girl came out of the bedroom wearing a blouse and a short skirt. The blouse had a nametag that proclaimed her name to be Amber; Harry silently thanked the god's for small miracles.

"I will give you a call later today if I get a chance, Amber." Harry said. He then proceeded to get her phone number, knowing the chances of him calling her were slimmer than him kissing Snape in the great hall. He let the girl out and locked the door behind her. Harry, on second thought, decided to bring up the wards he had on his apartment, so that he would have the option of turning away this mysterious company that was coming. Reaching out with his hand he brought the standard wards up, he felt they would be enough since he highly doubted this mysterious woman would know the first thing about magic.

Harry decided to make himself a little bit of breakfast before his company showed up. He was in the middle of making an omelet when he heard a banging on his door.

He dropped the onion he was slicing and muttered "shit" before looking at the door with a shocked expression on his face that whoever was at the door had managed to get through his privacy wards. That one should have made them stop about 10 feet from the door and announce themselves.

He strode to the door, wand in hand, and cautiously stretched his magical sense outside the door. Before he could even take a look he heard a loud insistent voice saying

"HAROLD JAMES POTTER I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE OPEN THIS DOOR THIS INSTANT."

He went to the door, drawing down the rest of the wards. There stood his old friend, Hermione Granger, looking very pissed and absolutely McGonagall like with her lips pursed.

Harry Potter stood in the doorway and looked at Hermione standing on his doorstep. The first coherent thought he was able to have was, "how was she able to bypass the wards." It must have showed on his face because Hermione looked at him and laughed.

"After twenty years you would think that you would have changed your general wards, Harry." She smirked at this and then looked at him. "Well are you going to invite me in or not?" she asked.

Harry nodded and moved aside so she could walk into the apartment. He noticed there was a girl standing behind Hermione. She looked familiar however just like the voice on the phone; he could not place where he knew the girl from. Hermione saw him staring and then indicated that the girl was her younger sister, Vivian.

"Of course," Harry thought, "the famous Vivian who had been 6 years younger than her sister." He had had not spoken to Vivian in more than 20 years.

Hermione turned to Vivian and thanked her for her help. Vivian gave Hermione a small smile mouthed good luck and then proceeded to head back down the hallway calling behind her that she would meet Hermione back at their hotel.

Hermione walked into the apartment and looked around, obviously taking in the décor of the place. Hermione first noticed that they were in a room that appeared to be a living room. There was a television in one of the corners. She noticed it was a big screen TV. In the one of the other corners, a computer was set up with what appeared to be all the bells and whistles. There was some assorted furniture that completed the room. Hermione moved to the couch and sat down; Harry sat in what was obviously his favorite seat in the room, a large leather massaging chair.

Harry looked over at Hermione. The look on his face clearly told her that he was not happy to see his old friend. He glared at her and then decided to grab this bull by the horn.

"Hermione what are you doing here? I thought I made it perfectly clear when I left England that I wanted to move on with my life. I left England twenty years ago because I couldn't deal with all the fall out after the final battle. I have made myself a life here and I am happy."

At this declaration Hermione took a good look at Harry and decided he was not happy, in fact he looked as unhappy as she had ever seen him. She decided that the rumors she had heard must be true.

It was these rumors that had caused Hermione to track Harry down; she felt that she owed it to him as a friend. She thought carefully before she began to speak.

"Harry I guess it's only fair to tell you the real reason why I am here. I have heard some really disconcerting things about you and your life style and I felt it necessary to come and check on you."

At this Harry looked up at her, the look in his eyes suddenly becoming sharp and wary. The last thing he needed was one of his friends coming out here to play nurse mother to him. He decided to see how much Hermione really did know of his life style.

"So, Hermione, what exactly have you heard about my 'life style?'"

He made stylized air quote around the words life style making it sound like something dirty.

Hermione blanched and decided to be entirely truthful.

"I guess it's better if I tell you from the beginning. That way you won't be so confused"

Hermione sat back in the chair and tried to figure out where to begin. She decided to begin at the beginning, which would have had to of been when she took the job of Transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts.

It was a cold and rainy day in England; Hermione Granger got out of the Carriage that had taken her all the way to the front door of Hogwarts. She reflected that it had been at least been eighteen years since she had been in the castle. The last time would have been for the award ceremony after the final battle; she had received The Order of Merlin (first class), along with her husband, Ron.

She remembered the other person who had gotten that very same award that day, Harry Potter. She wondered what had become of him.

After the last battle she had thought that he would settle down and live life as a normal wizard…as normal as Harry Potter's life could be. Yet the boy who lived had surprised them all; less than 6 months later he had disappeared.

Many people thought he had been killed or kidnapped, but after a while people who had been close to him received mysterious letters letting them know that he was safe and healthy but that he had chosen to leave the Wizarding World for good.

Hermione, Ron, Remus Lupin and Dumbledore, among others, decided to respect Harry's wishes and not try to figure out where he had gone. Hermione couldn't help but wonder, however, what had happened to the third member of the "Golden Trio," as the wretched caretaker Argus Filtch had called them.

As if her thoughts had called him, Mr. Filtch stuck his head outside the great door and asked in his sarcastic tone if she was going to come in or if she was going to decorate the outside of the door all night.

"Yes, Sir, I am coming in,"

She replied as she strode into the door and walked into the great hall. It was exactly as she remembered it, right down to the candles floating in the air and the enchanted ceiling above now flashing with bright bolts of lightning.

As she crossed the great hall she had to remind herself why she was here. Professor Dumbledore had finally decided to retire, and Professor McGonagall was going to replace him as Head Mistress of the school.

She had been invited by Headmistress McGonagall to take over the post of teaching Transfiguration and of being the Head of Gryffindor.

When she had gotten the owl with the offer, Hermione had of course written back to tell her that she accepted. She was now here to start teaching, of course the students would not arrive for another two weeks so she had time to get her classes together. Hermione was pretty sure that Professor McGonagall would have things in order anyway.

"Miss Granger, how nice to see you!"

Professor McGonagall cried out as she was walking across the floor to great her. She approached one of her all-time favorite students and did a very un-McGonagall like thing to do, she gave her a hug.

As the two walked together they were talking earnestly about old friends and catching each other up on their respective lives. When they approached the stone gargoyles that guarded the Headmistress's office, Professor McGonagall spoke the password. "Lemon drops," she said with a wistful smile on her face.

"You kept the password the same, Professor?" Hermione asked with a trace of admiration in her voice.

"Yes. I couldn't bear to change it. It seems abnormal to not have Albus in the school,"

Minerva said as they both took the stairs up to her office. As they stepped out into the corridor they heard voices in the office.

Intrigued, Minerva entered first only to see her predecessor, Albus Dumbledore, sitting on a couch holding an animated conversation with five of the portraits in the office. As soon as he heard Minerva enter, Albus rose to his feet and greeted her with a hug.

"Ah, Minerva, I was wondering where you had gone off to." Suddenly, he stopped as he spotted Hermione standing in the doorway looking a little bit surprised at seeing her former Headmaster there.

"Hermione Granger, how wonderful it is to see you. Minerva had informed me that she would be offering you the job of Transfiguration Teacher. I told her that was a wonderful idea, as you scored the highest Transfiguration NEWT score since Minerva herself took the exam."

Hermione blushed a rather bright pink, and Minerva laughed and told Albus to stop embarrassing the poor girl. Albus laughed and gave one of his famous eye twinkling smiles. Then after some small talk, Hermione finally asked one of the questions that had been weighing heavily on her mind for quite a while.

"Excuse me, Sir, but do you know anything about how Harry is doing?"

The mood in the room seemed to drop a few degrees. Professor Dumbledore was looking very serious for a change and he seemed to be weighing in his mind what to tell Hermione. Finally he looked up at her, gazing at her over his half-moon spectacles.

"Yes, Miss Granger, I do indeed have some information about Harry. As you know, about 16 and a half years ago, I received a letter-the same one that you received-telling me that he was ok and safe but he just wanted to leave his legend behind. I completely understood. How could I not? I watched him grow up and struggle under the burden of being the boy who lived. If you remember, I advised you all not to contact him and to just let him have his peace. I figured after a few years he would seek us out and then all would be well.

After about 5 to 7 years of waiting I decided to make sure he was ok. Using my numerous contacts I discovered he was living in America under a different name. He is a high level police officer, the equivalent of one of our high level aurors. He has not gotten re-married and is reported to be living alone. That is most of all I know."

Hermione looked over at Professor Dumbledore and knew there was something else that he was not saying. She then proceeded to ask Professor Dumbledore what it was that he was not telling her. He sighed and then spoke.

"I kept tabs on him discreetly of course. Everything was fine he was doing very well for himself as I knew he would. However about 2 and half years ago the reports started to change. At first it was just small things that suggested he might be having a rough patch. I decided not to worry, however about six months ago things took a turn for the worse. The people I spoke to say that it is rumored that Harry is using drugs. At first he was doing it to bust people that were selling the drugs, but now they think he might be doing them himself."

Hermione was shocked and didn't believe it at first, but after listening to Dumbledore explanations and she thought about it she began to understand. She resolved to do something about it as soon as she could. The rest of the evening went quickly with Hermione settling back in to life at the castle.

May of the next year:

Hermione was busy. She taught all the 1-5th year transfiguration students along with her NEWT students. Somehow she managed to find a little time to do some work on finding her old friend, Harry. Dumbledore would not reveal where he was living or the name he had changed to.

She had managed to narrow it down to 10 cities and that was where she had been at for a while. Suddenly she was called away to take care of something in Gryffindor house; the list lay on her desk, forgotten, in the bustle of exam time.

August of the same year:

Hermione had finally narrowed the list down to three different cities: New York City NY, Cleveland Ohio and San Antonio Texas. She had to pay a bloody fortune to get the records of all the cops who were not born in the United States, but she had succeeded. Now she just had to figure out which of the three cities it would be. Her money was on New York City but she could never be sure. Suddenly an owl flew in with her class lists from Headmistress McGonagall, and Hermione had no choice but to begin preparation for the upcoming school year.

December of the same year:

Hermione had finally managed to locate Harry. He was living as Harold Evans in New York City. Hermione found him through a contact of hers in the American Ministry of Magic. She had spoken to his current partner, Jack Briscoe. Playing the part of a concerned friend-which she was-Hermione had managed to get Jack to trust her and give her the information she needed.

It turns out that Harry was getting drunk at least twice a week and he had a standing tab at a couple different bars. More concerning to her where the things Jack had told her about the drugs that people thought Harry was using. The only reason he had not been investigated was because he was the best cop they had in that area and it was not affecting his job performance. Yet Jack had hinted that turning a blind eye to his habits would not go on forever.

June of Next Year:

It had been about 7 months since Hermione started talking to Jack Briscoe, and his reports were only getting worse and worse. It seemed now that things were coming to a head and that Harry might be fired even or worse arrested.

When Jack offered to help her come out and surprise him to see if she could talk some sense in to him, Hermione jumped at the idea. Hermione used Vivian, her sister, as a tourist cover in America. They ended up in New York City at the house of Harold James Potter (Evans).

.

Hermione leaned forward and looked at Harry. She honestly feared how he would react because she could tell nothing from his face. The boy who used to wear his heart out on his sleeve had developed into a man who kept his feelings closely guarded.

Hermione met his blank stare with a shaky one of her own. She clearly expected his legendary temper to explode. Yet in her eyes was determination; she was not going to let her friend down. It was this determination that had led her here and was keeping her in his apartment.

Harry blinked and finally seemed to react to what Hermione had said. He did not seem upset, more like confused. He finally spoke and it was in a calm rational voice that had a bit of a questioning tone to it.

"Well, Hermione, I am curious as to how you managed to find me. I would not be surprised if Dumbledore found me, but according to your account Dumbledore refused to help you."

At this Hermione nodded and made to speak, but Harry raised his hand to indicate that he wasn't finished.

"I know you were the cleverest witch in the entire castle when we were at Hogwarts, but I was pretty sure that I had managed to cover my tracks extremely well. I would like to know how you found me because, Hermione, if you did it then that means other people might do it as well. For all I know you could be the first of many people who will be banging on my door."

This last part was said with a tone of extreme annoyance and hinting at a bit of anger.

Hermione flushed at the last statement and nodded, admitting her guilt. She carefully composed the response to his question in her head; she did not want to inform him of her co-conspirators until she was certain that he would not horrifically mad at them and take out his frustrations on them. Finally ready to answer his question she leaned forward and began to speak.

"Once Professor Dumbledore confirmed that you were indeed living in America I had a place to start from. I knew you had left England all those years ago, but I did not know where you had gone. I have a friend of mine who works in the Ministry; she arranges over-seas port keys and apparition points. Once I knew your destination my friend was able to check back to around the time you left.

I had over 5,000 wizards who left Britain during the 4 month period I had checked. Luckily most of them were easily confirmed as having business in America and came back to Europe within two weeks. I also scanned the list and found nothing that looked at all like your name. I could only figure that you had used your influence to get registered under an alias to hinder people who might look for you."

Hermione paused to give Harry a chance to confirm or deny this; he gave a small nod and then waved his hand signaling for her to continue.

"Once I had narrowed the list down to those people who had either not returned or I couldn't find I was left with about 2,000 names. I gave those names to a few different people I know in the ministry. Some of them were able to identify those who lived in England, and I was able to check out their home addresses and determine that they were most likely not you.

"Then," continued Hermione, "I remembered that Professor Dumbledore mentioned to me that you were a high level policeman. I figured that you would have had to go to college for that. So I searched all the colleges for names that were on the list. I came up empty as only a few names matched and none of them could have been you. I will admit that right then I was ready to give up, but a stroke of fortune occurred. I managed to find out where you had deposited all the muggle money you removed from Gringotts. Even though it was in your false name, I was able to find out that you had your tuition for Duke University taken out of that bank account."

Harry looked over at Hermione his eyes looking shocked that she had been able to find out this much. He decided that he wanted to hear the rest of how she had found him and what else she knew.

"Well Hermione I always did say you were clever. What I am curious about now is how you found me after Duke."

Hermione smiled. "That was very difficult. I ended up taking all the male graduates from your class and tried to find them. I managed to locate about 75 percent of them and was able to prove that none of them could possibly be you. The other twenty five percent I was not able to locate. I finally had to resort to paying money to get the files of all them from the university. I finally located all but five of these mystery people. The first two were named Henry Martinez and Jill Capalone-Martinez; they were working in Cleveland, Ohio. The third was named Ronald Boston and was working in San Antonio. Texas. The fourth was also working in San Antonio. Texas and was named Sam Houston. Then finally there was you: Harold Evans working in New York City.

I contacted all the police departments in their respective cities and found out about them. You were the only person who fit the bill. I finally got in touch with your partner, Jack, and that is how I found out all the rumors were true." Hermione finally stopped talking and seemed to sink in to her chair.

Harry refused to meet her eyes. Inside he was scared, so very scared. He knew that he had a problem and he knew that he should sit here and confess to Hermione everything that was going on, but he was too scared to do it. So he decided he would cover the fear with anger. YES, anger.

How dare Hermione come in here and barge in to his life after he had managed to shut her out for so long. Deep inside his mind, a quiet voice was telling him that this was Hermione and he should be honest with her, but he managed to shove the voice deep down inside his mind so he would not have to deal with the truth. Harry then glared at Hermione and opened his mouth to speak, to let all the anger out at perhaps the person who was the least deserving of it.

Harry Potter gazed at Hermione, his temper flaring hot as the sun. He tried to gather the words he had to say to drive Hermione off before she could get close to discovering his horrible secret.

"HERMIONE JANE GRANGER I am a GROWN MAN! I can't believe that you would still be enough of a busybody to track me down and speak to my co-workers to spy on me. Did it never occur to you that I had a damn good reason for walking away all those years ago? DID IT?" Hermione made no move to stop Harry's outburst and just sat there, too shocked to do anything else.

"I left because I COULD NOT take it anymore. I was sick and fucking tired of being Harry god damn Potter, the boy who bloody well lived. I was never just Harry Potter; people never let me forget that fact. Even after I defeated Voldemort, the most fucking evil wizard those pathetic people had ever seen, I couldn't live in peace. Even when my beloved Ginny died, right before we were bonded, they couldn't they leave me alone. People talked about how I should have been able to save her. How I was The Boy-Who-Lived couldn't I of saved her. I must not have really loved her if I didn't save her. I read all the articles and news reports. I saw the filthy reporters at her funeral.

Oh and then came the fan-girls can't forget those sick vultures. I had tons and tons of FUCKING marriage proposals, like I was some animal that could just move from one female to another. It NEVER occurred to them that I was a living breathing man who had FEELINGS and was grieving for the loss of his fiancé. I finally had to leave the ENTIRE Wizarding world behind to get my peace and quiet. I had to leave everyone I knew and loved before I went insane."

Harry paused to take a breath, the pain etched clearly on his smooth and blank face. His breath was coming in quick short gasps, and he looked like he was trying to force himself not to cry. Hermione on the other hand looked completely shocked; nothing could have prepared her for this emotional explosion from her friend. She had to remind herself to stay calm and not run over and hug him as that would be the absolute wrong thing to do.

"So, yes, I finally left. For over 20 years I have been alone, and now you come in and disturb my perfect orderly life. Why, Hermione? Why must you dredge up memories of the past that I have worked so hard to forget?" As he said these words, his eyes filled up with tears and he felt them trickle down on to his cheeks. Hermione looked at him with something akin to horror as she realized the pain she had caused. She got up for the first time and gave him a brief hug.

"Harry, I am so sorry. I never meant to bring back such painful memories. I realize now it was a mistake for me to come. Just don't forget: if you ever need someone I'm just an owl or a portkey away."

With that said Hermione turned around, grabbing her sister's hand, and walked out the door.

AN2: Ok and here we come to the end of the new and improved chapter one lol. I would like to thank the lovely Miss Hannah Louise for her help she is a brilliant critic and an all-around great friend if a little bit crazy for insisting there is more than one type of biscuit.


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